Independence
Give your children the chance for a life well-lived
Let me address the objection I know is coming. I hear you, I believe you feel your child could never live on their own or with staff. Let’s say you’re right, what happens if you die before your child does? What’s your plan? I imagine there probably isn’t one because of the belief that no one can do as good a job as you can. This is probably causing no end of stress.
Perhaps it leads to you not sleeping, fights with your significant other, and a host of other issues. Here’s the bottom line, all this stress is almost certainly shortening your life span. You are driving yourself into an early grave, leading to the very thing you can’t stop perseverating about. If you agree, or are at least willing to keep an open mind, keep reading. Otherwise, thank you for making it this far.
What am I thinking when I say our children should have the option to live “independently”? Don’t I understand our children have complex health challenges and disabilities, in some cases requiring 24/7/365 care? I do. In fact, I have a very similar situation. My son is not currently able to live on his own. He has a support staff who stays with him 65 hours a week.
So let’s redefine “independent”. Instead of using the Merriam-Webster definition, let’s go with something a little looser and more forgiving. I am challenging all of us as parents to give our children the opportunity to rely on someone else for support. After all, to some degree that’s exactly what we are doing. I don’t believe for a second that there is a single person reading this who never needs help (whether they’re willing to admit it and actually ask is a different story).
